Never Leave
by Casandra
Summary: Sam/Brooke Slash- Well it's Post series finale. Oh I hate writing that, grr. What can I say, I'm not too original. Actually i put what I hope is a little bit of a differet spin on some of the other ideas that 'Promblems' sparked. hehe, Just read it alre
1. Sam POV

  
  
  
  
Never Leave  
  
  
  
Author: Casandra   
Email: rozwellrulz@aol.com- I know, my email addy is really cheesy, I was going thru one of my Roswell phases at the time LOL  
Disclaimer: Do we really even need this anymore considering what happened back in May. Ok, just to be on the safe side. I of course own nothing having to do with Popular. It belongs solely to its respective owners, yada yada yada  
Rating: Well it gets rather angsty, so for subject matter I'll say a very strong PG-13. But think more along the lines of PG-15 or 16 just in case. Just be forwarned..  
Pairing: Sam/Brooke. Come on, is there really any other? Ok, yes I know, I know there is, just not in my litle fanfic realm, hehe.  
Summary: Well it's Post series finale. Oh I hate writing that, grr. What can I say, I'm not too original. Actually i put what I hope is a little bit of a differet spin on soem of the other ideas that 'Promblems' sparked. hehe, Just read it already!  
Distribution: Sure, I'd love for anyone to have it. Just please let me know where it is so I shamelessly brag that someone posted my fic :)  
Feedback: Does begging work for you? Cause I'll gladly get down on my hands and knees if thats what it takes. Ok, I'm pathetic, I know, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for feedback.  
Author's Note: Well I know your probably getting sick of me already. Well this is my first try at slash fic, in fact I'm really rather new to the world of slash. But I felt so inspired by all the other great Sam/Brooke authors out there that I just had have a go at it. Fair warning, this is rather angsty. I have two different endings I wrote. So let me know which one you liked better. I can't seem to bring myself to try writing some smut yet, so you won't find any of that in here. Although another warning for you. It's beyond mushy in places, in fact its probably completely out of character, but I just can't seem to write anything but pure sap. Ok, well I'm sure you're sick of hearing bable on and on so.......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thoughts are in [ ]  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sam's POV  
  
  
If someone would have told Sam a year ago that she would be fighting with Brooke over Harrison, she would have thought they belonged in a padded cell. But over the course of said year alot had changed. [And as much as I hate to admit it, they changed for the better]  
  
Harrison had gotten leukemia, She and Brooke were getting along much better now, which had in turn brought their two divided groups into a somewhat uncomfortable single unit. Brooke also had a relapse into her eating disorder after the whole class president debacle. [And did I even visit her!] Sam had torn herself up over that for the past 6 months now. She wanted to visit her, she really did. But everytime she thought about weak and scared Brooke had to be it broke her heart. And she was afraid that if she went and saw her so vulnerable, that all her hidden and most certainly unrequited feelings for the cheerleader would most certainly just come bounding right out of her mouth. That secret was the biggest thing that had happened to her over the past year. She had fallen head over heels, desperately in love with Brooke McQueen. [Who am I kidding? I think I've loved her my whole life, it certainly feels like it.] That thought petrified and excited Sam all at the same time.   
  
Ever since she could remember her and Brooke had been at each other's throats. They never got along, even back in grade school. But there was always something that fascinated Sam about the tall blonde. When Harrison had developed his not-so-secret crush on Brooke, Sam was livid. At the time she figured it was because she felt betrayed by Harrison. Afterall, this was Brooke McQueen, her mortal enemy. But in the past year, Sam had come to realize something. [I wasn't angry, I was jealous] When the thought first occured to her she thought she had feelings for Harrison.Then Brooke happened to walk into the kitchen as she was deating her thoughts. Sam knew without a doubt in that moment that Brooke glided into the room that it wasn't Harrison she had feelings for, it was harrison she was jealous of. Surprisingly the thought didn't freak her out the way she thouht it probably should. The fact that she was gay wasn't that scary, it was just a fact. And to Sam, it wasn't the most important facrtor in the equation. She had fallen in love with Brooke, that was the mind grippingly frightening thing. And she knew without question that Brooke did not feel the same way.  
  
So she tried to supress it, figuring if she tried to forget about her feelings that they would all jsut magically disappear. But then the whole Harrison fiasco started and suddenly it felt liek they were in grade school again. When Harrison asked Brooke out it had felt like someone punched Sam in the stomach. the feelings she had tried so deperately to supress blew up to the surface. When Brooke had asked her permission to go out with Harrison she had almost let it slip. Especiallya fter Brooke grabbed her and hugged her. [You're just a big ole chicken Sammy]  
  
Of course then came Harrison's death bed email declaration. He was in love with her, something that sent Sam through a huge double back loop. She knew she couldn't date him. it wouldn't be fair to her, to Harrison and most certainly not Brooke. She couldn't do it, if just for the fact that she would not hurt Brooke like that. So she took the coward's way out, she used George as an exscuse. [There's another mess you made Sam] Of course the George thing was just another way of trying to surpress her feelings for Brooke. It had been a welcome distraction. and she genuinely liked George. She even went as far as to try and sleep with him, subconsiously hoping it would be just the thing to solve her "I'm desperately in love with my soon-to-be step sister" problem. Of course things don't work like that and she realized it just in time.   
  
So she went back to her normal life again. [Normal? huh, not even remotely close!] Loving Brooke, but never being able to show it. Trying to surpress her feelings by being with George. It was becoming old hat to her now and she was miserable. It was a miselrable exististence, but it was the way things had to be.  
  
But then the unthinkable happened, Harrison and Brooke slept together, Harrison had lost his virginity to the woman she loved. Sam had felt like someone had kicker her in the chest. [Kicked? More like shot me!] The way Harrison looked so guilty made her want to scream. he had no idea how much he had betrayed her, in so very many ways. The tears she cried that day would forever be stained on her cheeks. She knew in that moment that she would enver have Brooke. She knew she could never return her feelings. She felt her heart shatter into a million and one pieces when Brooke told her, in a voice laces with guilt and regret, that she was sorry.  
  
After that awful night, Sam did the only thing she knew how to do with Brooke. Pretend. They had once again come full circle. Brooke and Sam competeing for Harrison, Sam secretly pining away, but putting on a good show. And that's what had lead her here, to this exact moment. She sat next to Brooke [God she looks beautiful!] Harrison sitting across for them, THEIR prom date. They had decided earlier that they had to make him choose, that it wasn't fair to any of them to go on like this. Sam knew either way he picked, that everything was about to change. If Harrison chose Brooke it would devastate her. [Devastate doesn't seem to be a strong enough word] But if he chose her it would crush Brooke and that thought alone was enought to break Sam's heart. [There is no middle ground here, I'll be destroyed either way!] Sam tried to prepare herself as harrison began to speak.  
  
"Somebody's going to get hurt, and I hate that,"  
  
Sam looked at Brooke and took a deep breathe.  
  
"As much as I care about you Sam, I have to choose Brooke,"  
  
There, it was done, he had chosen, and it was devastating. Before Sam could even gauge Brooke's reaction, she bolted out of her seat and took off towards the exit. sam followed her, leaving a bewildered and slightly pained Harrison sitting at the table. Sam caught up to Brooke just as she was heading outside.  
  
"Brooke wait!"  
  
"This isn't what I wanted," Brooke replied, grasping her hand briefly as she moved toward the street. [Huh? Why didn't she want this? She won. I don't get it!]  
  
"This isn't what I wanted either Brooke. Just stop!" Sam hadn't meant for her voice to show her emotions, but they somehow seemed to be controlling her at the moment. Brooke continued out onto the street, oblivious to the oncoming headlights. Sam started after her again only to be paralyzed by the scene that was developing in front of her. There was no doubt in her mind that Brooke would be hit.   
  
Sam broke free of her paralysis ans sprinted towards Brooke. In that one fleeting, heart stopping moment she knew that she would gladly give her own life if it meant Brooke could take even one more breath. Brooke let out a spine tingling scream jsut as Sam reached her. She knew there was no way they could get out of the way in time. So she did the only thing she could do, she put herself in between Brooke and the car.  
  
TBC. Don't you jsut love how I leave you hanging :) Next part will be Brooke's POV  
.  
  



	2. Brooke's POV

  
  
  
  
  
  
Never Leave Part 2  
  
  
  
  
Author: Casandra   
Email: rozwellrulz@aol.com- I know, my email addy is really cheesy, I was going thru one of my Roswell phases at the time LOL  
Disclaimer: Do we really even need this anymore considering what happened back in May. Ok, just to be on the safe side. I of course own nothing having to do with Popular. It belongs solely to its respective owners, yada yada yada  
Rating: Well it gets rather angsty, so for subject matter I'll say a very strong PG-13. But think more along the lines of PG-15 or 16 just in case. Just be forwarned..  
Pairing: Sam/Brooke. Come on, is there really any other? Ok, yes I know, I know there is, just not in my little fanfic realm, hehe.  
Summary: Well it's Post series finale. Oh I hate writing that, grr. What can I say, I'm not too original. Actually i put what I hope is a little bit of a differet spin on soem of the other ideas that 'Promblems' sparked. hehe, Just read it already!  
Distribution: Sure, I'd love for anyone to have it. Just please let me know where it is so I shamelessly brag that someone posted my fic :)  
Feedback: Does begging work for you? Cause I'll gladly get down on my hands and knees if thats what it takes. Ok, I'm pathetic, I know, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for feedback.  
Author's Note: Well I know your probably getting sick of me already. Well this is my first try at slash fic, in fact I'm really rather new to the world of slash. But I felt so inspired by all the other great Sam/Brooke authors out there that I just had have a go at it. Fair warning, this is rather angsty. I have two different endings I wrote. So let me know which one you liked better. I can't seem to bring myself to try writing some smut yet, so you won't find any of that in here. Although another warning for you. It's beyond mushy in places, in fact its probably completely out of character, but I just can't seem to write anything but pure sap. Ok, well I'm sure you're sick of hearing bable on and on so.......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thoughts are in [ ]  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Brooke's POV  
  
  
  
Brooke sat nervously awaiting Harrison's choice, knowing that it was about to change everything. Brooke knew that his choice would shatter her into a thousand pieces. She spared a glance over at Sam, who looked just as nervous as she felt. Brooke knew, without a shadow of a doubt now, that she could never share her feelings with Sam, her feelings for Sam. The past year had been a series of nightmares and near misses. Somwhere in the course of all the fighting with Sam, she had come to some harsh realizations. She was in love. She was gay. She loved Sam. In any particular order they scared her beyond comprehension.  
  
She learned to accept that she was gay rather easily. Afterall, it wasn't so much about what sex you liked, it was who you loved and cared about, whatever packaging they happened to come in. The only nagging part was the ramifications she would face at school and, more importantly, at home. She was scared to death about her parents reactions.  
  
The love part was actually more terrifying than her new lifestyle choice. She was in love, in love with Sam. Sam her arch nemesis. Sam her soon to be step-sister. Sam her sparring partner. Sam, her whole world. [Man, am I a goner or what?] She had found that loving Sam was the most natural thing in the world to her. It was also the scariest thing that have ever happened to her.  
  
When her mother had shown up last summer, she knew that it was going to cause a rift in the family. But the desire to actually get to know her mother was so overwhelming that she couldn't help herself. She saw how Sam beat herself up over the turmoil their family was in. So many nights she heard her softly sobbing in her room. And so many nights she wanted to rush through their adjoining bathroom and take the brunette in her arms, kissing away all the tears. When these thoughts crept their way into her already troubled mind she knew she loved Sam. She knew that she was, without a single shred of doubt, hopelessly, desperately, heart achingly in love with Samantha McPherson.   
  
She tried and tried to suppress her feelings for the gorgeous brunette, she tried to forget the thoughts that had tortured her all summer long. She tried to ignore the flips her stomach did, and the way her pulse raced whenever Sam happened to spare her a smile. She tried not to think about the jolt of electricity that coursed through her body whenever they happened to briefly touch limbs. It was a painful existence, but Brooke knew it was the way things had to be.  
  
When her mother had asked her to move back to San Fransisco with her, Brooke was completely torn. If she left L.A she could try and forget about her feelings for Sam. Without her living right down the hall, temptation and desire for her would most certainly wane. But moving to San Fransisco and being away from Sam would be more unbearable than anything Brooke could imagine. She was suffering because of her unrequited feelings, but she could at least be near Sam. She mulled over her decision again and again, finally coming to a painful conclusion. She would go to San Fransisco. She would leave her family and her friends. She would leave her life. She would leave her Sammy. [Geez, when did I get so possessive?]   
  
Then Sam had surprised her, and gave her more than a little hope. At the party where she went to say goodbye to everyone, Sam asked her to stay. [Ok, so not in so many words, but hey] In the instant that Sam walked out of the shadows towards her Brooke knew she couldn't leave. She couldn't, she wouldn't, leave Sam, even if there was no chance of them ever being together. Brooke knew that she would be happy just to be living, sleeping 10 feet away from her love.   
  
Later, during the whole class president fiasco, Brooke started to slip back into her old, bad ways. She wasn't eating, and when she did she binged and later expelled it all back out. Her father dragged her kicking and screaming back to the eating disorder clinic. Brooke passed each day hoping, that even by the slightest chance, Sam would come visit her. She never did. As much as Brooke knew it was stupid to think she would, it still hurt.   
  
The harsh reality that Sam would never return her feelings once again slapped her in the face. So she tried once again to forget about her feelings. In a feable attempt to do so she turned to Harrison. The fact that Harrison also loved Sam made it seem a sort of poetic justice. As much as she willed herself to feel something for Sam's best friend more than friendship, she couldn't. [Can't force something that will never be there] Brooke knew that the heart never lied and her heart and soul would forever belong to Sam. There were no if's, and's or but's about it, just the clear cut truth. Brooke knew without a doubt in the moments after she took away Harrison's innocence, that she would never love anyone the way she loved Sam. She believed with every fiber of her being that Sam was her soulmate, gender be damned. [Geez McQueen, when did you become such a sap? Soulmates? Wait, who am I kidding, it's the whole truth.]   
  
She was determined to never let Sam find out. As much as she loved her little budding journalist, she knew that if Sam found out it would be the end of her. Whether or not Sam would tell anyone was a moot point, because Brooke was long past the point of caring. But the thought of Sam knowing how she felt and trying to let her down gently, it was enough to kill her. She had almost died of the thought once, her depression adding to her eating disorder problem. The idea that Sam might hate her when she found out was also a thought that had crossed Brooke's mind, one that she had quickly chased away. Brooke knew that if she thought about it too much the fear would consume her. The idea that Sam could hate her gripped her with an almost paralyzing fear. [Not my Sammy, she could never hate me could she? Wait, what am I saying, as far as I know she already does. And look, there's that possesive thing again. Get a grip Brooke!]  
  
Fighting with Sam over Harrison had made it safe for Brooke to be around her. It let her see Sam's fire, Sam's passion, without giving herself away. The last thing in the world Brooke wanted was Harrison. [But I can't really go and tell Sam that, can I?]   
  
All the fighting, all the heartbreak, all the missed chances and miserable mistakes had led her to this moment. And she could feel with every pore in her body that things were about to go from bad to worse. Harrison's choice was going to change everything, no matter who he picked. [What if he picks me? I can't go out with him, not when I'm in love with Sammy!] She felt like the seconds were ticking away excrutiatingly slow and thought the cosmos were purposely torturing her. [Why would he pick me when he could have Sam? He can't be that stupid!] She tried to convince herself that there was no way Harrison would pick her over Sam, it was an impossibility. Just as fast as the relief set in it was replaced with complete and utter sadness. [He'll be getting what I've always dreamed of, he'll have Sam] The thought of Harrison holding Sam, kissing Sam, making love with Sam, was enough to make her blood boil to a temperature she didn't think possible. With every passing second Brooke's mind became more and more numbingly jumbled. Then Harrison cleared his throat.  
  
"This is so hard. Someone's going to get hurt and I hate that more than anything,"  
  
"Sam," he started again.  
  
[Here it comes, the end of my life as I know it]  
  
"As much as I care about you, I have to choose Brooke,"  
  
[WHAT! No! He can't choose me!] Without another thought Brooke sprung up out of her chair and headed towards the exit. She was vaguely aware of someone trailing after her. As the warm May air hit her face she felt a set of gentle fingers grasp her arm.  
  
"Brooke wait!"  
  
[Sammy? Why did she come after me? Maybe.......... No, McQueen just your wishful thinking kicking in again]  
  
"This isn't what I wanted,"she said in a voice laced thickly with regret and pain. [Huh? Why did I say that, she's bound to figure it out now!]  
  
"This isn't what I wanted either! Brooke, just stop!"  
  
[Well of course it isn't Sam. I just took away the guy you cared about, of course you're not happy about it. But that still doesn't explain why she followed me?] She grasped Sam's hand for a moment, just wanting to feel that jolt that always coursed through her when they touched. She took one more brief look at her and then proceeded out into the street.  
  
Her mind was so cluttered with emotions that she didn't even notice the bright pair of halogen headlights staring her down. She was pulled out of her stupor by Sam's petrified scream.  
  
"Brooke! No!"  
  
In that moment of sheer terror, Brooke let out a spine tingling scream, laced with fear, and years worth of regret. Brooke knew that the impact the car would have on her body would be fatal. She knew that with as much certainty as she knew she loved Sam. So in the moments before her death she tried to think of the one thing that made her truly happy. Sam.   
  
Memories, pictures, flashed over her mind at a jarringly fast pace. The first time she saw Sam in their kindergarten class. Sam beating up a bully that had stuffed Harrison into his locker. Sam moving into their house with her mother. Sam looking ever so adorable brushing her teeth in the morning. Sam and her watching her father's copy of Rumple Stiltskin Triple X. [Little did you know Sammy that I had that all set up!] Sam playing with McKenzie, cooing and tickling the newest addition to their crazy family.  
  
Brooke was brought out of her trip down memory lane when she caught sight of Sam speeding towards her. [Don't you dare Sammy! I can't bear the thought of you coming to my grave with me! Please God, stop her!] But it was no use, Sam reached her in a second, and for a single fleeting moment, their eyes locked. Sam turned and put herself between the oncoming car and Brooke.  
  
[Sammy! NO!]  
  
TBC...... Hehe, left ya hanging again :)  
  



	3. Finale

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Never Leave Part 3  
  
  
  
  
Author: Casandra   
Email: rozwellrulz@aol.com- I know, my email addy is really cheesy, I was going thru one of my Roswell phases at the time LOL  
Disclaimer: Do we really even need this anymore considering what happened back in May. Ok, just to be on the safe side. I of course own nothing having to do with Popular. It belongs solely to its respective owners, yada yada yada  
Rating: Well it gets rather angsty, so for subject matter I'll say a very strong PG-13. But think more along the lines of PG-15 or 16 just in case. Just be forwarned..  
Pairing: Sam/Brooke. Come on, is there really any other? Ok, yes I know, I know there is, just not in my litle fanfic realm, hehe.  
Summary: Well it's Post series finale. Oh I hate writing that, grr. What can I say, I'm not too original. Actually I put what I hope is a little bit of a different spin on some of the other ideas that 'Promblems' sparked. hehe, Just read it already!  
Distribution: Sure, I'd love for anyone to have it. Just please let me know where it is so I shamelessly brag that someone posted my fic :)  
Feedback: Does begging work for you? Cause I'll gladly get down on my hands and knees if thats what it takes. Ok, I'm pathetic, I know, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for feedback.  
Author's Note: Well I know your probably getting sick of me already. Well this is my first try at slash fic, in fact I'm really rather new to the world of slash. But I felt so inspired by all the other great Sam/Brooke authors out there that I just had to have a go at it. Fair warning, this is rather angsty. I have two different endings I wrote. So let me know which one you liked better. I can't seem to bring myself to try writing some smut yet, so you won't find any of that in here. Although another warning for you. It's beyond mushy in places, in fact its probably completely out of character, but I just can't seem to write anything but pure sap. Ok, well I'm sure you're sick of hearing me babble on and on so.......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thoughts are in [ ]  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
The sound of the impact was enough to make Brooke physically sick.When the car hit her Sam had pushed Brooke to the side, using the forward motion the car had put her in to propel Brooke out of the way. Brooke watched as Sam was launched into the air by the car's bumper and then crashed back to earth with a heart shattering thud.  
  
"Sam! Sammy! NO!" Brooke screamed as she picked herself up from the hard, unforgiving asphalt. By the time she reached Sam a crowd had started to gather. She pushed her way through, clawing like a caged animal at the people seperating her from Sam.  
  
"Call an ambulance! HURRY!" she screamed as she laid down next to Sam. A think trickle of blood was streaming out of her mouth and her face was becoming paler and paler with each passing moment. Brooke knew enough not to try and move her, so she stayed in her postiion, grasping Sam's hand and gently stroking the hair away from her forehead. That's when she saw it, the growing pool of blood at the base of Sam's head.  
  
"Oh Sammy NO! Why did you do that? Don't you know my life doesn't mean anything without you in it?" Brooke wailed, not giving any thought to who might have heard her. She continued caressing Sam's face, willing her to hang on. The fear that gripped her heart was paralyzing, and it made her sick to her stomach. The thought that Sam could die was enough to make her wish that she was dying too. The thought of a life without Sam was no life at all. She knew if Sam died that she would be soon to follow. Whether it be natural or not she didn't care, she just knew she couldn't live without Sam. She looked down at the bloodied face of her love and saw that Sam was trying to open her eyes.  
  
"Br.......Bro........Brooke?" Sam asked in a weak panic. The pain in her body was overwhelming, but the fear that Brooke had been hurt was far worse. If she was ging to die she had to know that Brooke was alright. Her eyes were blurry and unfocused but she could feel someone tightly gripping her hand.  
  
"Sammy, I'm right here, just please hang on!" Brooke tearfully replied, squeezing Sam's hand even tighter. Sam could hear the pain and fear in her voice and was oddly comforted by it. [Well at least I know she'll miss me]  
  
"Safe?" Sam choked out, needing to know that she had indeed suceeded in saving Brooke. Sam was vaguely aware of Brooke caressing her face.  
  
"Oh Sammy, yes, I'm fine, thanks to you. Oh god Sam, you saved my life! Why did you do that? You risked your life to save me!" Brooke was near hysterics now, the rest of the world seeming to fade away. She could just make out the sounds of sirens in the distance and sent out a silent prayer that they would be in time. Just then Sam was gripped with a series of spine tingling coughs. "Sammy, please, just try and stay calm. Don't try to talk" Sam smiled weakly at Brooke, finding a sudden strength and reaching her hand up to wipe away an errant tear on Brooke's face.  
  
"I had to, it was you......... Br.... Brooke,"Sam smiled again, trying to show Brooke that she really, truly meant it.  
  
"Oh Sam!" Brooke cried, more tears coursing down her moist cheeks. She took Sam's weak hand and placed a series of feather light kisses on her palm. Sam kept smiling at her, her face not showing the pain that Brooke knew she had to be in. Just then the ambulance arrived. EMT's swarmed the scene, pushing Brooke out of the way.  
  
"Sorry Miss, but we have to get through" One of them told her in a cold, clinical voice.  
  
"But.... But... she's my sister!"  
  
"I understand Miss, but we need room to work,"  
  
"Br...Brooke?" Sam called out to her, her empty palm seeking out Brooke's missing hand.  
  
"I'm right here Sam. I'm not going anywhere, just let the paramedics work on you!" Brooke tried to reassure her, not wanting Sam to be any more frightened than she already was. Sam visibly relaxed, letting the paramedic check her over. They gently placed a backboard under her and lifted her onto a stretcher, attaching a C- collar around her neck to make sure her head was stable. As they loaded her into the ambulance Sam called out for Brooke again.  
  
"I'm going with her!" Brooke said with certain finality. The paramedic knew enough not to even try and convince her otherwise. Brooke pulled herself into the ambulance and sat down beside Sam, grasping her hand once again. Brooke was frightened at how weak and cold Sam's hand felt. She started talking to her, hoping it would soothe Sam as well as herself.  
  
"Sammy, come on now, you gotta hang in there. You know McKenzie needs her big sister. You know with just me I'll probably corrupt her into being a cheerleader when she gets old enough. We can' t have that now can we? Besides, who am I gonna be able to stick dirty diaper duty with, huh?" Sam once again opened her eyes and smiled. She brought the hand Brooke wasn't holding up and removed her oxygen mask. Brooke gently tried to put it back on but Sam shooed her hand away.  
  
"Br..Brooke, you'll be fine. Besides......... if she turns out....anything like you... she'll be per..perfect," Brooke was once again overpowered by a new set of tears. "Brooke, I need... to tell you somethi......" another set of blood filled coughs overtook Sam's body before she could finish.  
  
"Sammy, save your strength. You can tell me later, we have all the time in the world," Brooke tried to sound convincing, if only to keep Sam calm. Her instincts betrayed her though, deep down knowing that Sam was quickly slipping away. Brooke looked back down at her, trying to control her tears so she wouldn't frighten Sam. She gave Brooke a heartbreaking smile, one of fearful recognition, quiet acceptance and sad resignation.  
  
"Liar, you know you... don't... lie well. I can al... always tell,"  
  
"Sammy, shhh, you're going to be fine..... you have to be!"  
  
"No Br..Brooke......... I can feel myself...... It's like I'm st...starting to float away,"  
  
"Oh god! Sam please hang on! Please don't leave me!" Brooke took Sam's hand and once again brought it to her lips, placing gentle kisses on her palm.  
  
"I can't..... go..... without tell... telling you......"  
  
"Sammy, shh, don't talk, it's ok"  
  
"Brooke, I love you. I love you so much......... more than my own life," Sam declared with a sudden strength that could only have come from somewhere deep inside her soul.. She knew she couldn't leave this earth wothout telling Brooke, her soul would be eternally tormented. "I... I should have to..told you a long... ti..time ago...... I was just so... sc.....scared. But I th...think I've lo...loved you my whol..whole life. I couldn't let you g... get hit......I'd die first," Sam looked up into Brooke's tear stained face and knew, knew with every fiber of her being, that Brooke loved her back. She smiled up at her, a brilliant ethereal smile.  
  
"Sammy, oh Sam. I....." Sam took a weak, shaking hand and placed a cold finger to Brooke's lips.  
  
"I know"  
  
Sam smiled one last time before her eyes rolled back and her hand dropped away from Brooke's face. The dull drone of the heart monitor flatlining was enough to make Brooke wish she was deaf.  
  
Sam? Oh god, Sammy? NO! Sammy, no, don't leave me! Please god, don't leave me! I need you so much Sam, please come back, I love you so much Sammy! I can't bear to live without you!" The pain Brooke felt in her chest was excrutiating. She could feel her heart begin to shrivel up inside her body.  
  
"I'm sorry Miss, there's nothing we can do, she's gone,"   
  
"NO! She can't be! She can't be gone! I need her, I love her!" She grabbed the paramedic by his shirt collar. "So something, help her, you're a paramedic, help her! Oh god, please bring her back to me!" Brooke collapsed, crying into the paramedic's chest, grief washing over her in drowning waves. [Sam is dead, she died saving me! Oh god, what am I gonna do without her? How am I going to go on without her?] A thought occured to Brooke as she sobbed uncontrollably into the EMT's shirt. {I don't have to live without her, I can be with her for eternity] The idea of suicide wasn't a new one to her. Afterall, she had battled a eating disorder for years. She had come to think of it as a slow form of suicide. If she had to give her own life to be with Sam, then so be it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Brooke sat in her room curled up on her bed, hugging Sam's pillow tightly to her chest. The night had been the worst one Brooke could have ever possibly imagined. She felt another fresh batch of tears beginning to course their way down her cheeks. She clutched Sam's pillow tighter, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Sam. She thought back to a few hours ago, when she had to tell her parents that Sam was gone.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Brooke stumbled into the kitchen, in a fog full of grief, regret and complete and utter sadness. Jane and Mike were sitting at the kitchen table paging through baby magazines. Mike turned around first, taking in Brooke's ragged appearance. Her clothes were torn and Sam's blood was splattered all over her, mixing with her own cuts and scrapes.  
  
"Oh god Brooke, what happened?!" Mike cried, rushing over to his daughter and checking her over. Jane had gotten up and joined him, but unlike Mike, she noticed the haunted look in Brooke's eyes. A sudden and blinnding panic filled her body.  
  
"Brooke, where's Sam?" Jane asked, her voice quivering with unknowing fear. The look on Brooke's face told her everything she needed to know. Tears started coursing from Brooke's bloodshot eyes as she reached for Jane.  
  
"Jane... I" Brooke stopped, not knowing how to tell her. But Jane had already figured it out. She could feel it, a sudden piece of her soul was missing, the piece that Sam held.  
  
"NO! Not my baby girl! Not my Sam! NO!"  
  
Mike wrapped his arms around Jane, trying desperately to console her. Without another word Brooke climbed the stairs and headed towards Sam's room. She crept in silently, for some reason not wanting to disturb the quiet that now surrounded her. She gently grasped Sam's pillow and headed through their adjoining bathroom to her own room. As she passed through the bathroom she absently picked up a razor off the shower caddy.  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
Brooke gently got up off her bed, careful not to rumple Sam's pillow case. She walked to her dresser and pulled out a picture of her and Sam that had been taken last year during the whole Adam-male cheerleader debacle. She clung tightly to the picture, grapsing the razor in her other hand and dangling it over the vein in her wrist.  
  
"I'll be with you soon Sammy. We'll finally be together," Just as Brooke was about to pierce her skin she heard a heart breaking voice.  
  
"Don't Brooke"  
  
Brooke spun around to be face to face with Sam. [Oh my God!] Tears sprung to her eyes for the countless time that night.  
  
"Sammy?"  
  
"I'm here Brooke. I'll never leave you, not even if I'm dead," Sam replied gently, trying to soothe the spellbound girl in front of her.  
  
"But I don't understand. How can you be here? I saw you......... Sam I was there! You did leave me!" Brooke wailed. Sam walked over and took Brooke into her arms. She felt the fragile blonde collapse into her embrace. "Oh god Sammy, I can't go on without you!" Sam gently cupped her face and brought her brown eyes up to meet her own chocolate ones.  
  
"Brooke, if you do this we'll never be together. We'll be seperated for all eternity. Is that what you want?" Brooke cried more, desperately clinging to the smaller brunette.  
  
"Oh god no Sam! But I can't imagine going on without you here!"  
  
"Brooke listen to me. I've learned some things since I...... well you know," Brooke gently nodded her head in understanding, fighting back her tears. "Well I found out something that might throw you for a loop. We're soulmates Brooke," Brooke looked up at Sam and saw the sparks dancing in her eyes, her happiness apparent. Brooke had felt all along that they were destined to be together, now she had her confirmation. She smiled at Sam and lazily stroked her cheek.  
  
"I know Sammy. I've always felt it," Sam looked at her in shock, but it was soon replaced with an unearthly smile.   
  
"Well you know you can't do this then Brooke. Please promise me that you won't hurt yourself," Brooke looked like she was weighing her options. Sam took her hands and led her to the bed, gently sitting her down and then kneeling on the floor in front of her. "Brooke, I love you, more than anything. And I knew what I was doing when I stepped in front of that car. I protected you, I gave my life to save you. If you do this I'll have died for nothing. And if you do this we'll never be together again. Just because my body is gone it doesn't mean my soul has left you too. I'll always be with you Brooke, always, until our souls meet again. I'll be there when you graduate from high school. I'll be there when you go off to college. I'll be there when you get married," Sam stopped when she saw the pained and doubtful look Brooke was giving her while shaking her head in an emphatic no. "And you will get married, because you will fall in love again. And I'll be there when you give birth to your children. I'll be there because I'm in here," Sam brought her hand up and placed it against Brooke's heart. Brooke reached up and held on to her, relishing in Sam's touch. "And when it's finally time for you to leave this earth, I'll be waiting for you,"  
  
"Sam, I love you so much, how can I possibly do all those things without you by my side? How can I go to bed at night without you in my arms? How can I graduate without you sitting beside me in one of those awful robes?" Both girls burst into a giggle laced with their own tears. Brooke's face grew serious. " How can I get married if it's not you at the altar with me? How can I raise my children if they're not OUR children?" Brooke sobbed, tears rolling in waves down her cheeks.  
  
"Brooke, I told you, I'll be there for all of it. Just not in the conventional way," Same laughed bitterly, thinking about how cruel fate could be. "Brooke, you have to live. If not for yourself, if not for Mom and Mike, if not for McKenzie, then for me. Live for me. Can you do that for me Brooke?" Sam'e eyes were pleading, willing Brooke to go on.  
  
"OK. If that's what it takes to spend eternity with you then so be it. I love you Sammy, I'd do anything you ask of me," The smile that lit up Sam's face was heavenly. Brooke was filled with an overwhelming strength when she gazed into Sam's eyes. She knew without question that she could do this, she could live her life. For Sam. Sam reached up and cupped Brooke's face in her gentle hands. She brought their lips together for the first time. The kiss was passionate yet gentle. Sweet yet searing, but it was overwhelming filling. Sam was trying to put year's of seperation into that one kiss. She pulled away and smiled again. Brooke tried to bring their lips back together but Sam was starting to fade away from her.  
  
"Sammy?"  
  
"I love you Brooke. I always will. I'll never leave you, remember that. We're soulmates Brooke, never forget."  
  
"I love you too Sam. Forever. I'll never forget." And with that she was gone. Brooke blinked back hot tears and curled up again on her bed with her pillow, preparing herself for a life without Sam.  
  
THE END  
  
I told you, angst city. But I do have an alternate ending if you like happy ones :)  
  
  
ALTERNATE ENDING!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Brooke woke up crying a river into her pillow. She tried to bring her sobbing under control, praying to anything that would listen that it was all a nightmare. Then she felt the soft nuzzle of someone behind her. She felt gentle hands carress her bare stomach, soft lips pressing into her shoulder and warm breath wisping through her hair.  
  
"Brooke? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"  
  
Brooke turned around to see Sam looking down at her with worried eyes. She let out the breath she had been holding since she had woken up. She grabbed Sam and brought her in for a crushing hug.  
  
"Oh god Sam, I had the worst nightmare!"  
  
"Shhhh Brooke, it's ok, I'm here," Sam tried to soothe her frightened girlfriend  
  
"But you weren't sam. We were at the prom and I walked out into the street and almsot got hit, but you pushed me out of the way. God, you got hit Sammy" Brooke started crying again, burying her face in Sam 's brown locks.  
  
"Come on baby, it's ok, it was just a dream,"  
  
"Sammy you don't understand. You died!"  
  
"Well see, isn't it a good thing we didn't go to the prom last night? Just think, if you hadn't told me how you felt when were deciding on Mac's name, who knows what could have happened. But you did and we're together, and we love each other, and we're both alive!" Sam laughed trying to ease Brooke's troubled mind. She had to admit, the thought of dying was unsettling to say the least. But the reality she found herself in more than made up for it.  
  
"But Sammy it seemed so real. I was going to kill myself and you came to me and stopped me," Brooke related the nightmare back to Sam, tears springing up in her eyes at the memories.  
  
"Brooke, it's ok, it was jsut a dream," Sam wrapped her arms around her, kissing her shoulder, tryuing desperately to calm her down.  
  
"Sammy," Brooke began, clingin tightly to her girlfriend. She reveled in teh deep connection she felt everytime they touched. "Sammy, you left me,"  
  
Sa, grapsed Brooke even tighter, burying her face in her golden tresses.  
  
"I'll never leave you Brooke"  
  
THE END............. AGAIN  
  
Ok I know, it ws sort of a cop out, but I couldn't think of anything better :)  
  



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